I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize