I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize