if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
