is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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