A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
