I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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