the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
