Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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