he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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