I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
