Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
