Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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