We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
