Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think people are normalizing furries
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize