I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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