i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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