so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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