When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
