If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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