My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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