good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize