So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
