If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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