dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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