come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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