I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
