omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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