I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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