I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
