So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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