No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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