just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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