it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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