i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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