playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
