So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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