I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
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Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
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Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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