My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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