At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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