Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
