loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
