i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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