things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Even my vagina gasped.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
