ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
