I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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