I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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