Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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