Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
