You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
