These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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