how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
