Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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