Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
