I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
