I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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