Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
