Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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