it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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